Tom Schnabel: Alternative Facts


My 10 Alternative Facts

Since the notion of “alternative facts” is currently being adopted by the new administration, I figured WTF, I might as well conjure up some of my own.  As George Orwell predicted almost 70 years ago in 1984, if 2+2=5, I guess it’s okay for me to add to the dystopia we’ve seen over the last week.


  1. My lovemaking talent surpasses Casanova’s.
  2. My appendage is bigger than his too.
  3. My IQ surpasses Einstein’s
  4. I’m a better flute player than Hubert Laws
  5. My hi-fi system is better than Henry Rollins’
  6. I drive a Bugatti Chiron, and have Italian classics like a Ferrari 365 GT and a Maserati 3500 GT in my garage.
  7. My flute is a platinum handmade Muramatsu
  8. I am a better surfer than Laird Hamilton
  9. I am a better swimmer than Michael Phelps
  10. I am handsomer than Clark Gable or Brad Pitt


Now let’s check out some characteristic traits of a narcissist.  Which U.S. President do these remind you of? Hint:  it’s not Teddy Roosevelt…….